


Surrender

by Alethia



Category: Dark Angel
Genre: Alec is a Sex God, F/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Max Can't Deal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-19
Updated: 2007-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 23:00:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alethia/pseuds/Alethia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She gave in to him once; she didn’t know how to do it again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surrender

**Author's Note:**

> Heat fic! Originally posted [here](http://alethialia.livejournal.com/251821.html).

Their gasps sounded loud in the still room. Alec held himself above her with his elbows, the slow rocking of his body more torturous than satiating, slow to make a point, like he could go all night and be perfectly fine.

Max moaned, trying to get a grip on his shoulders, but the sweat was making it near impossible.

Alec laughed a little, right in her face, and she couldn’t get over how his eyes twinkled in the light from her lamps. She couldn’t get over _this_ , how much she wanted it, that she could have it.

He varied the pace with a harder thrust, making Max arch. He was…playing. Just because he could and all while Max was burning up inside. They’d been at this for what seemed like forever and she _still_ hadn’t come.

“Didn’t know you were a tease,” she rasped, trying to hook her legs around his hips to get some leverage. He shifted his weight and brought a hand down, easily pinning her hip in place so that even if she had gotten a grip, it wouldn’t matter. Max made a protesting noise, but then he thrust harder again and she lost that train of thought.

“Didn’t know you liked bad sex,” he responded idly. He leaned down to bite at her mouth, opening his to join hers in a wet tangle that just made Max even hotter. Despite the glacial pace.

“Alec, please…” she whispered, closing her eyes in concentration, trying to chase that illusive shivering pleasure that tempted so much but never came close enough.

Alec groaned, long and low, and then his hand disappeared from her hip, finding her thigh and using it to roll them over, Max settling on top of him with an arched cry.

This was more like it.

He rested light hands on her hips, but didn’t move to take control, letting her raise herself up and slide back down on him as she would. 

And she did, setting a punishing rhythm that had her squeezing her eyes shut, the pleasure so complete. If she had any more sensory input it felt like she’d explode into infinity. Now Alec’s idea seemed like the better one, to draw this aching pleasure out.

“God, Alec,” she gasped, hearing the wet slap of their bodies every time she shoved herself down onto him. It was perfect, better than she’d thought when she found him, the reality somehow more fulfilling than the images that had plagued her ever since waking.

This was what she needed, wanted. Alec was what she wanted and Max gave herself over to that, letting his heat meld into hers, evidenced by the sweat shared between them, until the distinction between them didn’t even matter.

He moaned, fingers tightening on her hips, but still not exerting any force. “You should see yourself, Maxie. So fucking hot. So—” Whatever he’d meant to say was lost in another moan, Alec’s body arching beneath hers, a coil of tight muscles under her thighs, her hands.

She brought her head forward, opening her eyes, needing to see what he looked like when he was like this.

Alec’s eyes were half-slits, but the green was still overwhelming, watching her like she was something else, something unbelievable that he couldn’t take his eyes off of.

Those eyes that strayed to her breasts more often than not and she smiled, made sure to bounce extra hard on the next thrust, watching as he moaned again and closed his eyes.

Only to reopen them just as quickly, like he couldn’t bear to look away when not compelled to by the necessities of maintaining any kind of stamina. He reached up a hand, quickly skipping up her body, stopping to squeeze a nipple before settling deep into her hair, urging her on every time she sank down, making her bend forward a little, nearer to him.

And still those green eyes watched, never looking away.

Max tossed her head back, liking the way he watched her, liking the way their bodies sparked off each other in the inferno of her room, loving every single thing about this. It was the way it should be.

Why did she resist this so hard, anyway?

Max licked her lips, a provocation, she knew, but she couldn’t help it. Something flickered in his eyes and he grunted, gripping her hips—

And then he changed position again—what was that? The fifth time? He shifted so he was sitting up and pressed against her, her nipples rubbing over his chest and stoking what already lay so heavy and thick between them.

He _took_ her mouth, not at all softly, a kiss she wanted to drown in, to live in, a heat she wanted burned into her flesh to remind her of this. Of how it should be.

This time his hands did move her, up and down, faster and faster, what she’d been begging for all night. Max moved with him willingly, feeling her muscles start to tighten. 

And on the one side it was a welcome relief, to know that she was finally going to get what she wanted. And yet part of her didn’t want it to end, couldn’t imagine not having this shared pleasure roaring between them.

He must have felt it, too, because then his hand was between them, rubbing careful circles around her clit, another tease, and she was dying, would die, right here in his arms if he didn’t do something about it.

“Please,” she moaned, leaning her head back as he licked down her neck. “Please, please, please,” she kept repeating and some of it must have gotten through because he pulled his mouth back, forcing Max to look.

“When you ask so nicely…” he drawled, supremely confident.

Wicked little smirk on his face, eyes still alight, he moved his fingers where she wanted them, flicking over her clit, even as she moved on him.

Too much sensation. It was too much sensation, like Max knew it would be, and it burst through her, every muscle going tight as she arched and yelled his name—in ecstasy, in awe, in thanks, all of it.

Her climax crashed over her, inexorable and all-consuming, and in its midst she thought she heard her name and his hands squeezing her tighter…but she couldn’t be sure because she couldn’t feel anything beyond searing pleasure that she’d never felt, beyond anything she could even _comprehend_ , and before which she was completely powerless.

***

Max stalked through the door to her apartment and stuttered to a halt. There was something—

“Huh. You’re alive.”

It was the smell, she realized. She’d recognized the smell but it hadn’t processed in her brain until he’d spoken.

That was pretty damn useless if it couldn’t even give her any time to get out of here before, before…this.

“What are you doing here?” she barked, not even trying to hide the hostility. Why bother?

Alec sat on the couch and smiled, bitterly shaking his head. “Don’t roll out the welcome-wagon or anything.”

“Alec, what are you doing here?” she asked with more urgency, her tone rising.

“Right to the point then. No small talk, got it.”

“Alec!”

He shot to standing, face going through twelve emotions at once. She didn’t like that she could name so many of them. “Max, your idea of avoiding me is juvenile beyond words, so I’m here to tell you that it won’t work. We’re gonna have to try something else.”

“I think it was working just fine,” she snapped, wrenching off her jacket.

He smiled again. “Max, we work together. We run an off-the-cuff resistance together. Not to mention the fact that we’re, I dunno, _friends_. You ignoring my existence is not the greatest way to deal.”

Max held out her hands, helpless. And that was part of the problem. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

He raised a hand, frustration showing in the slant of his body. “I want you to say something. Do something. Yell at me, hit me, whatever. Just so we can get out of this horrific limbo where I try to get you to look me in the eye and you avoid me like I have a communicable disease!” he said harshly.

Communicable diseases. Not like she had experience with those or anything. Max darkly half-laughed. “Yeah.”

He seemed to realize what he’d said, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck, stance going apologetic. “Sorry,” he said, like it was all he could say.

“Naw, it makes sense. I spent so long not touching my actual boyfriend, so the guy I had a one-nighter with, yeah, I’d treat him the same way.”

“The thought crossed my mind,” Alec muttered. “And it wasn’t a one-night stand. You were in heat. It’s different.”

“Such a fine distinction.”

“Look, you and me?” He gestured between the two of them, staring into her eyes intently. “We can’t be like this. It’s not gonna work and you know what? Everyone will notice and start asking why. So, Max, I’m here to tell you we’re gonna have to try something else.”

Max breathed in, smelling him in her place, and all those images she’d been repressing popped right back up, his hand in her hair as she rocked down onto him, the dark green of his eyes, the things he’d said.

“I can’t deal with this,” she said, numbly, walking toward her room so she could shut this out, shut him out, and get back to the careful nothingness she so craved.

But then Alec was there, blocking her path with his body, and she had to stop moving or else she’d run into him. Feel him that close again.

Max hissed, stopping quickly. “Alec.”

“Max. You have to deal with this. You can’t just ignore it.”

“Watch me.”

“We had sex!” he yelled, thrusting out his arms, frustrated. “We fucked, Max. All night long, for hours on end, and I made you come _screaming_ my name. Nothing’s gonna change that.”

His words made her skin go hot, just at the memory. “Thanks for the reminder. ‘Cause I wasn’t there or anything.”

Alec sobered, seriousness replacing exasperation. “In a way you weren’t and for that I’m sorry. But it doesn’t change anything.”

“I don’t—I can’t—”

“Why are you avoiding me, Max?” he asked, point-blank.

Her mouth worked and she felt so _useless_. She had to force the words out, force the recognition. “Every time I see you, all I can see is that night, the things we did. I can’t get it out of my mind,” she whispered, hating the admission, but she couldn’t _do_ anything about it.

“I know. It’s the same for me. But it happened. How’s that wrong?” he asked, something soft in his tone.

“I wasn’t myself,” she said, appalled.

“And I know that. So what’s so wrong?”

Max gritted her teeth in frustration. “Alec! I’m telling you! I can’t get it out of my head!”

“And I’m saying I know that and yeah, it’s distracting as all hell, especially since you love wearing tight pants, but other than that, what’s the problem?” He shook his head, trying to look in her eyes.

Max suddenly felt trapped, closed in, like she couldn’t breathe. Something was pressing too close.

Alec was clearly confused. “What? Do you want to do it again?”

Her heart hammered in her chest. She couldn’t deal with this. “Get out,” she said lowly.

“Max—”

“No,” she said, stopping him. “I said get out.”

Alec held her look for a long beat, something unreadable in his eyes. Finally, he nodded. “Okay. Okay, I’ll go. But we’re not done with this.”

With that he walked out, shutting the door behind him with a quiet click. Max sagged against the wall, breathing hard, not knowing what had just happened, but knowing something had.

***

“It felt good and you want to do it again,” he said without preamble, coming up and trapping her by her locker during the lunch break, Jam Pony thankfully empty.

“Alec!” she hissed, looking around, just to make sure.

“You want to do it again,” he breathed, like it was a revelation.

“Yeah, Alec, because every girl in the world wants to jump in your bed at all times.”

“Not every girl. But you do,” he stated, completely sure.

“Hold your breath until that happens. Please.”

Alec didn’t seem to hear her. “You and Logan never did it so what? It’s been at least a year since you’ve had anything, much less heat sex with someone like you,” he murmured, almost to himself.

“What in the hell are you doing keeping track of my sex life?” she asked, affronted.

“Please, Maxie, it’s not like it’s hard,” he scoffed. But then his expression settled into wonder. “You want to do it again and that scares you,” he said, softer now, looking at her, almost pleading.

“I’ve got a pick-up in sector 12. Why don’t you come up with some more arrogant ideas while I’m gone and we can discuss when you get back?” She shut her locker forcefully and turned to go.

“Max,” he said, reaching out and grabbing her arm, holding lightly but the touch was enough to send sparks racing up her spine…or to remind her of them, anyway.

Max wrenched her hand away. “Don’t touch me,” she said coldly, glaring at him before she stalked off.

***

“You want to do it again and you’re afraid I’m gonna hit on you,” he said without preamble, taking a seat at their table and setting his Scotch down.

Max looked at the surrounding tables, but no one was paying them any mind. She turned back to find Alec watching her steadily.

“Yeah, that’s totally it,” she said, her tone telegraphing how very much _not it_ that was.

“Max, you know I’d never touch you without permission,” he said, like he’d been thinking about this and it was actually bothering him to think it.

She stared at him blankly. “Didn’t you just do that in Jam Pony this morning?”

Something broke in his eyes, something she couldn’t name, but he shook his head, almost violent. “That was different. That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.”

“Well, guess no one ever let me in on the good touching versus bad touching lesson. I’m sure there’s a really clear distinction.”

“ _Max_ ,” he said, like he couldn’t believe his ears.

“Alec,” she replied, using no inflection. He just shook his head at her, looking into her eyes, searching for something. “I’m getting more beer,” she said, glancing blandly away. “OC’ll be back soon.”

And with that, she left him there, just sitting and looking at her like he didn’t know who she was.

***

Alec waited for her outside her building, comfortably seated on his bike, like he had all the time in the world.

“It was a really good tactic, but it didn’t work,” he called, not lowering his voice for all the people around. Max walked up to him quickly, Alec lowering his decibel level accordingly. “You’re not afraid of me. You know me too well. So what is it, Max? You’re afraid of yourself?”

The morning light hit his hair, creating almost a golden halo around him, all brightness and intense green eyes and unwavering scrutiny.

“You got me, Alec. I’m out of control. I don’t know how I get through the day without jumping you,” she said, sarcastic.

“It happened but you can’t forget it and you don’t want to remember.”

“I try to block out the traumatic experiences of my life.”

Alec didn’t rise to the bait, shaking his head, mutely negating her point. “Dollars to donuts it was the best sex you’ve ever had. You’re afraid of how strongly you felt?” he asked, searching her face for something. “You didn’t expect it to be like that,” he guessed, “and now you don’t know how to act. Because you want more.”

“I thought I was avoiding you. Sounds to me like I decided how to act,” she said, hopping on her bike and tossing her hair back, flying out of there.

Alec didn’t follow, but she could feel his eyes on her back all the way down the block.

***

Alec cornered her in Crash, by the phone, leaning in close. “You’re afraid of yourself when you’re around me,” he said, firm.

Max tried to shrink back, but there was nowhere to go, the brick wall solid and unyielding at her back. “Guess we answered that question of you touching me without permission.”

“There is no question. And I’m not touching you,” he reminded her, his voice low and husky in her ear.

Technically it was true but he might as well have been for all that he was so far inside her personal space she didn’t know which way was up. She could feel the heat pouring off of him, she could hear every breath he exhaled, she could smell him all around her.

He might as well be touching her for how present he was.

“What are you—”

“Heart rate’s up. So’s your respiration,” he said into her ear, breath feathering across her neck. He pulled back, looking into her eyes. “And your pupils are dilated.” He looked into her eyes, shaking his head a little. “You’re attracted to me,” he said, not quite believing his own words.

Max took a shaky breath and used it to laugh, high and thready. “Gotta see about these delusions of yours, Alec. You’re starting to mix fantasy and reality.”

“Max,” he said, bringing her focus back to him and the concerned crinkle of his forehead. “Max, you’re shaking,” he pointed out and all at once she realized it was true, her hands just the tiniest bit unsteady. The tiniest bit unsteady like they _never_ were.

“I don’t—I have to go,” she said, ducking under his arm and running out the door, shoving it open with little concern for the people coming in.

The shouted “hey!” and “watch it” followed her out, Max not even internalizing them.

She couldn’t deal with this.

***

Max stood on the Space Needle, looking out at her city. It wasn’t that she was afraid; she just didn’t know what she was.

So of course Alec would show up behind her. He didn’t make a sound, he didn’t say a word…but she knew.

“I came here to be alone.”

“Solitude is not what you need, Max.”

“And you’re gonna tell me what I need?” she asked, mocking. She turned, finding him _right there_. “Tell me then.”

He waited a moment, tilting his head and eyeing her.

“Fair warning,” he said, eyes glittering, and Max just had time to wonder what the hell he was going on about before his hand was in her hair and he was pulling her to him, his mouth catching hers in a heated tangle.

Max breathed out in shock, opening her mouth reflexively as he flicked his tongue _in_ , as his other arm went around her to anchor her in place while his mouth did terribly devastating things, tongue tangling with hers, meeting her force for force, never backing down or retreating, solid in this shared pleasure.

Her fists clenched in his jacket, holding him close and just giving in, giving in like she _never_ did, giving in like she did that night, giving in to this expert touch and expert kiss, following where he led and reveling in the ability to do it.

And then he ended it with a few small pecks to her lips, pulling his mouth back to look at her. He didn’t release her, still held her close above the sea of lights, his eyes unreadable. “You’re not afraid of me. You’re afraid of your reaction to me. You’re afraid that you like it,” he finished, voice gravelly and low, sending a small thrill down her spine.

Before she could think of anything to say he bent his head again, touching their mouths together, softer, exploratory, stretching moments into hours, Max losing all track of time in the hot circle of his arms.

It was a while before she got back home; Max walked into her apartment on auto-pilot, mind carefully numb. They’d basically made out on the Space Needle for longer than she could contemplate, Alec carefully breaking down the things she thought about herself with drudging kisses that left her both wanting more and wanting to just get away. 

And then he’d left, tucking her hair behind her ear, saying he’d let her get on with her solitude, then. 

“Girl, where you been?” OC asked from her room, coming out and stopping dead on sight of Max. “And who you been doin’?” she asked, direct like only OC could do.

Max shook her head, feeling her face crumple. “I can’t—”

She ran to her room, closing the door and leaning back against it, oblivious to OC knocking on the door.

She really didn’t know what to do.

***

She dimly heard the knock at her apartment door, heard OC answer it. Max was still hunched over her knees by her door, had been there all night, long after OC had given up and gone to bed, promising that things would look better in the morning.

Nothing looked any different at all.

“Shoulda known you been messin’ with my boo,” she said.

“I need to talk to her, OC,” he said, and Max suddenly felt a slice of panic. What was she supposed to say?

The next thing she knew, Alec knocked softly at her door. “Max, open up.”

Max didn’t answer, just fiddled with her sleeve and hoped he’d go away and never come back.

“Max, open the door,” he tried again, voice firmer now.

Max still didn’t move.

“Max,” he sighed and Max could hear him shuffling his feet a little. “Look, I just—I’m sorry. Please open the door.” Something about his tone touched her, got something in her moving, and she stood, slowly opening the door to look at him, blank.

He looked like a mess, like he hadn’t slept either and he couldn’t do that like she could. Alec stepped up to her, pulling her to him, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry. Max, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t—you surprised me.” He pulled back, framing her face with his hands. “Max?”

“I don’t know what to say,” she said, still so very numb.

He searched her eyes…and then he pulled away. “Is it really that bad?” he asked, face hard. “Is it so bad wanting me?”

Max didn’t even know how to begin addressing the pain in his eyes. So she gave him her standard answer: “I can’t deal with this right now.”

She closed the door on his wince.

***

It was possibly true that she wanted him. Possibly.

And it seemed so…infantile, to have the sex be the trigger. Like she was some thirteen-year-old girl whose first time had been the wake-up call she’d needed.

It…wasn’t that.

She wanted him and it felt like some gaping hole she couldn’t fill. But she wasn’t like that. She didn’t do that.

She didn’t need things. She didn’t need people, either. She was a stone-cold bitch who was above all that crap.

Max jumped as her door burst open, OC standing backlit like a bitch on a mission. It was enough to shake Max out of her dawning horror, anyway.

“Okay, boo, OC’s on a mission and if you don’t come clean we gonna have to throw down. And don’t make me beat yo ass ‘cause you know Original Cindy’s got the skills.”

Max dropped her chin to her chest.

“It’s so messed up,” she said.

OC softened her stance, coming to sit by Max on the bed, “You and yo boy did the nasty,” she guessed, brushing Max’s hair back.

Max looked up at her miserably and nodded, looking back down at her feet curled under her. “It was heat,” she said. “I couldn’t control it.”

“Boy took advantage of you? Ima kill him, revved up or no,” OC said, sounding angry.

“No. He didn’t take advantage. I wanted it. I…gave in.”

OC paused at that. Max could feel her eyes tracing over her. She idly wondered what Cindy saw these days. “And that scared you,” she guessed.

Max couldn’t—“I just—can’t get it out of my head.”

“What, like instant replay for the brain?”

“Yeah.” Then she shook her head. “Alec thinks it’s because I want more.”

OC tsked. “Boy would think that.” A careful beat. “Do you?”

Max played with a sheet. “Maybe.”

Stunned silence: “Really?”

She looked up, seeing OC well and truly shocked. “And this is what yo beef has been about all week?” OC clarified.

“I dunno if you’d call it a beef so much as a freak-out,” Max said, willing to admit that, at least.

“Huh.”

“Yeah.” Yeah, that pretty much said it all. What could you even say?

“Original Cindy didn’t expect that,” she admitted.

“Me neither.”

OC physically shook herself, shaking the bed a little. “So you want his ass again, hot boy wants yo ass again…where’s the fire?”

“It’s so…I didn’t expect it.” She just…couldn’t get past that part.

“And that changes what?”

“Well, nothing. I guess.”

OC sighed, rubbing a hand across Max’s back. “Look, Max. You been denied what you want since the day you came into this life. Now you know what you want and can have it. Maybe stop questioning it and get busy with it, already.” She had that no-nonsense tone going on and Max had to admit she kind of had a point.

“I’m not sure,” she finally replied. “Alec?” she asked, looking to OC for some kind of answer.

“Boy is fine,” she said, shaking her head. OC sighed, more serious. “Do what feels right, boo. No way you can go wrong.”

***

She knocked at his door, every instinct screaming to run far and fast. But she didn’t.

Alec opened it, his eyes widening at seeing her, a beer hanging loosely by his side.

“Hi,” she said, fiddling with her sleeve.

He nodded, stepping back and motioning her inside with the beer. “Come in.”

She stepped forward and into the apartment, watching silently as he shut the door behind her. He turned and pressed his back against it, asking questions with his eyes.

“I liked the sex,” she blurted out, not thinking.

He blinked, obviously, and then shook his head, once. “Okay.”

“No, I loved the sex,” she continued, shaking her head. “It was unbelievable.”

“Well, I’m really good in bed,” he responded, like this was the most bizarre conversation he’d ever had.

“It never—guys aren’t like that. With me,” she clarified. The look on his face told her she wasn’t getting through. 

“Okay.” He drew it out, prompting her on.

“So I wanted more.”

“Max, that’s perfectly—”

“I don’t want more sex. I want more sex, from _you_ , even when I’m not in heat.”

“And it scares you,” he said, reiterating what he’d been saying for days.

“Yeah. Yes. So I freaked. I didn’t—expect that. With Logan it was always slow, everything was slow.” 

“Let’s make pasta before sex, let’s share a fine bottle of wine and conversation,” Alec said and it could have been mocking but for how dead-serious he was.

“Yeah. I knew it was coming. I had warning; I could prepare myself. But this?”

Alec nodded, slow, so slow, acclimating himself to the idea. “I was just Alec, your buddy, and then in a single night all that changed.” He straightened and smiled mischievously. “And I became Alec, the sex god.”

Max rolled her eyes. “Alec!”

“No, seriously, Max. It’s okay. Women have swooned over me before; I get it.”

“That’s so not—”

He pressed away from the door, leaning in close. “I’m teasing, Max,” he said lowly, looking from her eyes down to her lips. He brought a finger up and pressed it to her mouth, eyes transfixed.

Alec met her eyes again. “I get it. But I’m not going away and I’m not giving up. So get used to it.”

***

Fin. Feedback is adored.


End file.
